Slips, Trips, & Falls

At work, we go through a million different trainings annually and "Slips, Trips, and Falls" is one of my least favorites. (Training committee, if you're reading this - may I suggest you check out the Tosh.O blog for some videos to include in the next session? Totally worth it!)

I've had this training about a million times at this point so one would think that I'd have my procedures down pat, right? Wrong...

1. I ask Marlee & Mia to get dressed.
2. I repeat myself 3 times and say "I'm not going to ask you again. Get. Dressed. Now."
3. Marlee says "You ownyee assed us to get dwessed two times."
4. Argue with her stating that I should only have to ask once. 
5. Realize arguing with a 4 year old is pointless. 
6. Go to change Miles's diaper in the bedroom.
7. Look up to see Mar with no pants on and shirt halfway on, arms flailing like she's drowning.
8. Start to laugh at Marlee.
9. Try to stop laughing when Marlee walks into the doorframe and trips over a tennis shoe.
10. Feel completely inappropriate when Marlee begins screaming hysterically.
11. Attempt to comfort Marlee while she wails "I want mah dadddeeeeee!" over and over.
12. Shush Miles when he begins chanting "I bebe! I bebe! I bebe!"
13. Notice the ginormous bruise that's already formed on Marlee's knee.
14. Tell her she looked silly with that shirt on her head hoping to distract her.
15. "I want mah dadddeeeeee!"
16. "No Boo Boo! I beeeeebeeeee!"
17. First aid. 

Frozen burritos = ice pack. They're totally used to my resourcefulness at this point.

I'm also certified in First Aid and CPR. Obviously, I've nailed that course...